


Be My Caped Crusader

by Kimmi_watch



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: I have the flu so I'm blaming this on that, I hope you laugh reading this, M/M, Scott can't remember Tyler Hoechlin's name, Stiles is a fanfic writer, and Derek reads his fanfic, and insanity prevails, pretty much pure crack, this is Jackie's fault, writing smut is hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-07-26
Packaged: 2017-12-21 09:14:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kimmi_watch/pseuds/Kimmi_watch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tyler Hoechlin is cast as the new Batman. Stiles has a major crush on him. Scott figures it out, the pack scheme and Derek wears a Batman outfit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Be My Caped Crusader

Ever since Stiles had seen the new Batman vs. Superman movie, Scott noticed that he seemed to be wearing a different Batman shirt every day. Sure, Stiles had always had a love for the crime fighting superhero before but now it was bordering on obsessive.

To be fair, it wasn’t even really about Batman all that much. A huge reason for his resurgence as a Batman fanboy had to do with the guy who played him in the new movie. He was, as Stiles kept saying ‘a total hottie’. Personally Scott didn’t really see what he saw in him, he was a frowny asshole who had an unhealthy love for leather, he reminded him of someone but he just couldn’t figure out who. Stiles kept saying that the guy who played him was the absolute opposite of Batman, all smiles and laughter and dorky dressing and attitude, and he’d even shown Scott some interviews and gifsets of him on Tumblr and it seemed to be true, but there was something about his face that seemed familiar to Scott and he couldn’t put his finger on what.

Of course whenever Scott pointed out that his face looked familiar Stiles turned the conversation to this Tyler whatshisface’s ass. Or his arms. Or his butt. Or his abs. Or his chest. Or his ass. (He was a huge fan of this Tyler Heckledy’s ass).

It wasn’t until Scott had been forced to sit through the movie for a 20th time that he figured out why Tyler Ho-che-lin looked familiar. It wasn’t even him who’d figured it out. Lydia had come over to drop off some translations about the newest monster of the week from the Beastiary and had stopped behind the couch where Stiles was mouthing along the words without his eyes even being taken off of Batman’s ass and let out a wistful sigh.

"Tyler Hoechlin makes me actually _willing_ to watch Batman. I mean, look at that ass, and that face, and that body." She said salaciously, leaning on the back of the couch with her head in her hands.

"That man’s ass deserves an Academy Award." Stiles declared, sadly not even the first time he’d uttered that statement and sadly he wasn’t even the first person to inspire such a comment either.

"I don’t see it." Scott pointed out for about the billionth time, earning disgruntled looks from both Stiles and Lydia.

"I don’t know how you don’t see it. I’d like one of those delivered to my room as soon as possible, please and thank you." Stiles told him, settling back onto the couch with a dreamy sigh. The sound of something hitting the floor upstairs in Stiles’ room made them all look up. 

“ _Now_ what does Sourwolf want?" Stiles asked in annoyance, pausing the movie (taking a moment to sigh dreamily at the fact that it had paused on a close up of Tyler Pokemon’s face) and stormed up to his room. They all knew it was Derek, Scott because he could smell him and pick out his heartbeat and Stiles and Lydia because who else could it be?

"I want a million dollars to rain down from the ceiling." Lydia said suddenly, staring up in concentration for a moment. Scott stared at her in confusion, not knowing what she was talking about, but still kept darting his gaze to the ceiling just in case.

"What are you doing?" He asked when she harrumphed and moved to sit in Stiles’ vacated seat. They could both hear Stiles and Derek arguing about something so knew that he’d take a while to return.

"Well Stiles’ came true, I was just seeing if there was some kind of wish fulfillment thing going on right now." She explained, explaining exactly nothing, in Scott’s opinion. 

"Stiles’ _what_ came true?" He asked in confusion. Lydia turned to stare at him, her eyes boring into him in that way that implied she thought someone was a moron. Which, to be fair, was how she looked at _everyone_ but he knew she actually meant it with him this time.

"His _wish_. For one of those to be delivered to his room." She said slowly, waving a hand at the television screen. Scott looked from her to the frozen image of Tyler Poselin on the screen and back again.

"I don’t get it. _Derek’s_ up there." He told her. Her eyebrows shot up her forehead and she waved her hand around, like the answer was obvious. The two stared at each other, Scott trying to figure out what drugs she was on (and if they’d work on a werewolf) and Lydia waiting for it to click for him.

"Tyler Hoechlin and Derek Hale are practically twins separated at birth." She gave up finally, making Scott’s eyes widen in surprise. “Or Derek could be Tyler’s evil twin and he even has the evil twin facial hair to prove it. And if you tell anyone else I just made that reference I will deny it to my dying day." She added. 

Scott hurried to turn to look at the screen again, studying it for a moment. Finally things were clicking with him. That nagging feeling of familiarity was explained because Lydia was right, this guy could be Derek’s doppelganger, his twin, his alternate reality version. 

And Stiles had a massive boner for him. 

Did this mean Stiles had a massive boner for _Derek_?

If Lydia’s laughter when he thought this out loud was anything to go by then yes, he did. And apparently it was super obvious to anyone who had a working set of eyes. (And now, come to think of it, even to people who _didn’t_ have a working set of eyes based on some comments Deucalion had made that made much more sense now.)

"Do you think _Stiles_ realizes that his wet dream of a superhero boyfriend looks exactly like our resident grumpy Alpha?" He mused aloud, making Lydia chuckle and pat his arm like one would to a small child.

"Oh honey, no. Sure, he realizes it subconsciously, which is why he’s gone all fanboy over the delicious Tyler Hoechlin, but definitely not on any other level." She pointed out. 

The sounds of footsteps stomping their way down the stairs cut their conversation short. Derek was trailing behind Stiles, looking very much like a reluctant puppy dog trailing after it’s master, and Stiles was yammering on about how much Derek would love this movie, that he would totally relate to Bruce Wayne because of their mutual broodiness and manpain.

(And now Scott couldn’t believe he didn’t see it earlier.)

After sitting through Stiles excitedly showing his new favourite movie to a new person (‘I can’t believe you haven’t seen this yet, Derek! That’s a _travesty_! A crime against humanity!’ ‘Well maybe if I wasn’t fighting for my life more often than getting a chance to settle in a watch a movie I might have, Stiles. Some people have more important things to do than drool over men in latex suits.’) and seeing Derek get steadily more moody with every comment about Batman’s ass (‘The things I would do to that ass should be illegal. Look at that thing. I could bounce a _quarter_ off of that thing. Or my _dic_ …’ ‘OKAY NOBODY WANTS YOU TO FINISH THAT SENTENCE, STILES, JEEZ. WHY ARE YOU MY BEST FRIEND?), Scott began to have an inkling that maybe Derek had feelings for Stiles too.

He turned to Lydia, having a whole conversation with their eyes and eyebrows. A rise of his eyebrows asking if Derek wanted Stiles too, a roll of her eyes saying _obviously_ , a waggle of his eyebrows asking if they should do something about it, and a widening of her eyes agreeing that it was the best idea she’d ever heard. (He may have been paraphrasing what her eyes said but that was pretty much the gist of it.)

So began the task of making Stiles and Derek pull their heads out of their asses and realize that their feelings were mutual and that they both wanted to bone so they should get on that.

A surprising amount of people wanted to be included in this plotting. Allison jumped on board immediately, Lydia blabbling about it to her before she’d even left the house by texting madly with her and getting rampant agreement to help. Isaac joined in next, telling Scott that he’d heard things back when he used to live with Derek that he definitely hadn’t been meant to hear but he wouldn’t say what, simply shuddered and shook his head. Cora was all for it too, having overheard Scott and Isaac talking about it and agreeing that something needed to be done, claiming she was just about drowning in their pheromones whenever they were around each other. Even _Dr. Deaton_ agreed that something needed to be done, saying that the two of them were getting on his nerves. 

Again it was Lydia who came up with the perfect plan. Seeing as though Stiles was absolutely in love with Batman (because he looked like Derek) she declared that they should have a costume party and somehow convince Derek to dress as Batman. Stiles, seeing what was so obvious to everyone else, would have no choice but to make a move. The plan was perfect.

If only they could convince Derek to wear the Batman outfit.

"You know what costume you’d look _really good_ in, Derek?"

"No."

"Batman."

"No."

"You know, because you have that whole tortured soul thing going on."

"No."

"And you’d look really good in latex."

"No."

"Lydia. That is not helping. Come on Derek just dress as Batman." 

"No."

"Is _whining_ helping, Scott? No. It is not."

"Stiles is going as _Superman_." Cora finally pointed out. “Isn’t it _funny_ how he keeps saying that Batman and Superman have chemistry together and he thinks that they were secretly fucking all throughout the movie?" She added.

Well _that_ had Derek intrigued.

"Oh yeah, he’s always posting fanfic about them on Tumblr. Some of it’s really good. Athletic and possibly impossible to actually perform in _real life_ but so, so hot."

Yes, that was Derek intrigued. If he was a dog his ears would be standing up in curiosity. Maybe certain parts of him were _already_ standing up.

"Just get me some costume to wear and I’ll wear it." Derek snapped, storming from the room. If that wasn’t as good as telling them to get him a Batman costume as soon as possible then Scott was a flying pig.

The night of the party Stiles was super excited (a joke he made a lot while pointing to the giant S on his chest which made exactly no one else but himself laugh). Unfortunately for the pack they hadn’t realized just how _excited_ their plan would make him.

When he arrived at the party, Derek was already brooding in the corner. Everyone saw the moment Stiles saw him. He stiffened, his eyes widened and he took an aborted movement forward. Derek must have noticed too because he lifted his arm to have a drink and that was not an appropriate amount of flexing going on just to raise a cup to your mouth. 

"Derek is… Batman." Stiles said softly, more to himself than to anyone else, and Scott was a little worried that they’d broken his brain.

"All he needs now is a _Superman_." Lydia told him, making his eyes bug out even as he shifted in embarrassment, tugging at his costume. Scott was most definitely not looking down because Stiles’ costume was making it unfortunately clear just how _interested_ he was in Derek in his Batman costume.

"Derek, did you drop some peanuts on the floor? Pick them up, you animal." Lydia yelled at him. Derek glanced down, spotting the peanuts and dutifully turned to pick them up (even though he hadn’t been _eating_ peanuts). Stiles’ eyes fell to his butt, presented to them as it was, and then he stiffened, made a weird grunting noise, and blushed. He pulled his cape around to cover his crotch, backing towards the door.

"I, ah, have to go." He said, jerking his thumb towards the door and trying to skedaddle away. But then Derek was there, grabbing his arm and spinning him back around, his eyes falling on the wet spot on his tights.

"He’s never getting the deposit for that costume back." Isaac said, shifting uncomfortably, not wanting to think about the fact that his Alpha had just made his friend come in his tights simply from bending over.

"Derek, I can explain…" Stiles stammered in embarrassment, wishing more than anything that the floor would open up and swallow him whole… and wow he should not be thinking about swallowing things whole with Derek standing in front of him like that.

"Was it just because of Batman?" He asked, his voice raspier than normal which just made Stiles shudder. He searched the Alpha’s eyes for a moment before finding whatever it was he wanted because he shrugged.

"I actually think the Batman thing was more because of _you_." He admitted. Derek groaned and surged forward, kissing him desperately.

There was a mad dash to find one of the bedrooms, the two of them attached at the lips the whole time and not caring about the other guests at the party that they were bumping into. They finally made it to one of the bedrooms, Derek growling at the couple who were already in there to make them leave (Ethan and Danny did not appreciate it but that was not his problem) and then lowered Stiles onto the bed, fighting with his stupid costume to get it off of him.

"Oh my god, I’ve thought about this." Stiles muttered, tugging at Derek’s costume too. “He looks so much like you Derek, _so much_. And I couldn’t stop jerking off to pictures of him. And I felt so bad because it was like I was jerking off to you but that really wouldn’t be anything new and… oh my god these costumes _suck_!" He complained, because neither of them had lost anything more than Derek’s mask and Stiles’ cape.

"I’ve got this." Derek assured him, popping a claw and using it to cut through first Stiles’ costume and then his own. Stiles stared at him slack jawed for a moment before shrugging.

"They were already ruined anyway." He pointed out. He leant in and kissed Derek slow and dirty, using the distraction it caused Derek to turn them around. He slithered down Derek’s body, ending up level with his tented boxer briefs. “Well hello there, Mister Alpha." He cooed as he freed him from his underwear. 

Derek raised his head to look down at him in surprise. “You did not just name my dick Mister Alpha." He said, shaking his head.

"Of course not." Stiles assured him. “I named your dick Mister Alpha ages ago." He added, making Derek groan and drop his head back onto the bed. His groan turned from one of ‘why me’ into one of ‘oh fuck yes’ as he felt Stiles sliding his mouth down his length.

"Fuck, Stiles. I’ve wanted this for so long." He told him, tearing into the sheets with his claws as Stiles started up the suction on his cock. “I hated that stupid actor because you wanted him so badly." He added. Stiles hummed around his cock before pulling off.

"You hated a guy who looks exactly like you because I’ve been having dirty fantasies about him?" He asked, arching an eyebrow at him while continuing to jerk his dick seeing as though it wasn’t in his mouth anymore. “He was too cheery for me anyway. I always pictured him being more broody and sarcastic and Alpha werewolf when I pictured him fucking me." He assured him, bending to take him back into his mouth again. Derek cried out in ecstasy, moving his hands to mess up Stiles’ gelled up hair. 

"I left petty comments on your fanfiction anonymously because I hated that you were picturing him instead of me." He admitted. Stiles coughed and stated laughing, pulling off to look at him.

"That was you?" He asked, still jerking him off. “You’re an ass. _You_ were my Batman in my fics." He assured him. “Now shut up, I’m trying to blow your brains out through your dick." He told him, getting back to work.

Derek howled when he came and it was pretty certain that Lydia was going to have to buy new sheets for her bed. Maybe even a new mattress. Derek would foot the bill for that because it was definitely worth it.

Stiles lay curled up against Derek as he recovered, kissing wherever he could reach and slowing rubbing his very painful erection against his leg to try to relieve the ache while Derek came down.

"Your turn now." Derek told him once he’d gotten his brains back, turning to kiss him. “You know that fic of yours ‘Faster than my first time’? That scene in chapter eight…?" He trailed off, looking nervous. Stiles’ eyes widened.

"That’s… um… Batman’s the bottom in that." He pointed out and Derek nodded. “And I kind of don’t think it’s actually physically possible…" He trailed off and Derek smirked, pulling Stiles on top of him.

"Let’s try anyway. I’m sure I’ll be happy with whatever we can pull off anyway." He assured him. Stile grinned and pounced on him.

And if that position is the reason Lydia needed not only new sheets and a new mattress but also whole new bedroom set then that wasn’t their fault. 

(Except it totally was.)

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah I'm sorry. I hope you enjoyed it though. And if you laughed then I'll be happy. If you like anything you read here then you should know this is pretty much my brain in fic, so come play with me on Tumblr at kimmi-watch.tumblr.com (I do not know how to make those fancy links. I am sorry).


End file.
